i

should be more upset that things with david didn't work out, but i'm not.
his brother decided he didn't want to go to california so alas. but i'm not even way too upset, i mean i am but i'm not in hysterics. I guess maybe because it wasn't sooo close i could almost taste it and have it taken away.
but in the email he sent he said he would be visiting VA in november, december, or january. that's good enough for me.i mean if he visits in january katie and i will both be eighteen and that's fun in itself(: katie already has her party planned... well actually so do i, but mines just not set in stone... and i won't be eighteen when i celebrate.
i guess maybe i'm not upset because i woke up in such a good mood? and it hasn't quite kicked in yet.
but amanda tomorrow(:

i had the weirdest dream last night... like we were doing vacation bible school but the church had a way intense back yard and there were a lot more black people, but i remember eating a salad and got ketchup on my wedding dress and steven said something to me about being a loner because i was eating in the hallway rather than being with everyone else... and meggo kept spending the night at gabriella's house and i got upset because of some reason and we took the group photo and every single child and adult was wearing black... except for me who was wearing a wedding dress and kennywood sweatpants and ballet flats (white)... but i wasn't the only one. all the black people were in white too. it was weird and i kept thinking to myself how this would be another vacation bible school photo i'd look stupid in. an we looked like a giant cult like children of the corn or something. and then there were other parts but they are fuzzy. except for some weird school and ms. susan wanting me to use this computer to call my parents and what it did was interrupt my parents tv watching and announce my message and the only reason gabriella's mom picked me up (because they forgot me) was because meggo told her she left her do yoga with your baby tape and as soon as we got to gabriella's meggo spent the night at my house... weird. oh and i lost my ipod and cell phone but i found it in a baseball hat... very weird.

but i keep thinking about why i am not more upset about david.
why am i not more upset about this?