you know,

reading ellen's blog really inspires me. i know that my mind is hot and cold on ideas, thinking i want to do something, but then i change my mind. i'm pretty sure i talked to you guys about this in a previous post about who she is and that she's working a a nutritionist in Haiti, and well it has me thinking. she is just one person and she's over there working with other individuals making a difference. i know i'm not the best candidate for things like this since i am such a city kid, spoiled in lamest terms, i can't survive without air conditioning and i groan internally and sometimes externally when someone tells me to do something that would would require any bit of effort... now don't get me wrong, i can get the job done and once it is completed i feel so much better about myself, but i always, not second guess myself, but i don't really know how to describe it. hopefully you can make more sense of my thoughts and ramblings than i can. anyways, i've always wanted to help people and i was listening to my father talk about his boss' recent plane trip back to virginia and how the person who sat next to him on the plane was a college student who was in this program where she went overseas and taught to underprivileged children. this program is similar to teach for america, but instead of working with americans you work with people in other countries.

it's just that all my life i've had such an easy time and there are people out there sleeping in bus stations in large groups because they can't be at home for fear that they would probably be abducted and forced to fight in a war that isn't their own. i want to help those people. us americans, in general, we buy the save darfur bracelets, attend the concerts, buy the shirts... but after we do that we let it drop, tell ourselves that we did a good thing and eventually the bracelet gets lost, you outgrow the shirt, and the concert just becomes a fuzzy memory.

i want to do something more permanent than buy a bracelet that puts the two children interact supports in school. i want to help teach those children and provide hope to them.

but who knows my opinion might change tomorrow, but for once i hope that i'll stick to one of those ideas that pop into my mind.